GIVEAWAY WINNER!!

Thank you to all those who participated in our giveaway!! We really appreciate it. :)

Our winner is.........


"Mary said...
I already scuscribe to your blog! I couldn't find your fan page only your personal :(

Favorite Vacation Story was to NYC last year with our new little baby boy! It was snowing and beautiful and we had our NTC fill - plus I got to cross it off my list

Best Back to school trip?? Well I'm not really sure - I would have to say my last semester in college would have to be it - ther is something wonderful knowing you only have one semester left.

Thanks for the giveaway - I'll keep my fingers and toes crossed ;)"


Congratulations Mary! Please contact us at 602.295.9611 to confirm that you know you have won.

FALL GIVEAWAY - CLOSED

We hope you've had a fun time with your family this summer! To kick off our fall classes, we're doing a

GIVEAWAY!

The prize:

You and a partner can attend any class of your choice for FREE

A few rules:

The prize can be transferred to someone else

The winner has until July 31, 2012 to attend a class

To view our list of classes, go to www.kerimaughan.com/classes-and-seminars

There are many ways to enter. Here's how:

(YOU MUST COME BACK HERE AND LEAVE A COMMENT FOR EACH ENTRY - you are welcome to enter as many times as you want. The more enter, the more likely you are to win!)

1. Share your favorite vacation story

2. Tell us your best back to school TIP

3. Like "kerimaughan.com" on Facebook

4. Update your status on Facebook about this Giveaway

5. Subscribe to this blog

6. Post about this Giveaway on your blog

7. Follow us on Twitter - @kerimaughan

8. Tweet about this Giveaway

PLEASE LEAVE A SEPARATE COMMENT FOR EACH ENTRY

(If you already do any of these, leave a comment letting us know - they can still count as an entry)

THE CONTEST ENDS FRIDAY AUGUST 12TH AT 11:59PM

The WINNER will be announced on this blog on AUGUST 13TH

(The winner will be chosen using a random number generator, based on the number of comments)

Question/Answer

My three year old keeps asking for the same thing over and over and over!! How can I respond so she'll stop?

Example

Daughter: "I'm thirsty"

Mom: "Would you like water or milk?"

(state the choice as a question, instead of "you can have water or milk")

Daughter: "But I want juice!"

Mom: (with lot's of empathy) "I know" or "What did I say?" .... "water or milk?"

Daughter: "I WANT JUICE!!"

Mom: (after 10 short seconds) "Nice try.... looks like water"

(if she doesn't choose, you make the choice for her)

Then you can hand her the water. If she decides to throw a fit and toss the cup -

Mom: Empathetically say, "Ooohhh.... looks like you're alll done." (And take away the cup). If she continues to throw a fit, lovingly scoop her up and take her to her room while saying:

"Uh Oohhhh.... looks like you need a little bedroom time coming. This is sooo sad. I'll see you when you're sweet, plus a few minutes."

When she has calmed down, set a timer for about 3 minutes. When the timer goes off, go get her out of her room and LOVE HER UP. This will let her know that you love her, but not her fit. when she comes out of her room, she can try again with the milk or water.

By removing her from the situation, it teaches her that she is welcome to be with you and the family when she can be sweet.

This technique can be used for ALL kinds of choices you give your young children.

Quick Bordem Buster

Do you need a quick and inexpensive way to entertain your little ones?

Using some painters or masking tape,
you and your kids can make a RACE TRACK!
This can be done on tile or carpet.
They will love it - especially if you play with them.

For more fun ideas like this one, check out:

"The Toddler's Busy Book"
by Trish Kuffner

"The Preschooler's Busy Book"
by Trish Kuffner

FAMILY VACATION TIPS

10 Ways to Improve Your Family Vacation
(for parents with children school aged and older)
By David Boesch, M.D.*
additional tips by Keri in italics

1. Let the kids help plan the trip. Let them pick the destination for a day or plan the day’s sightseeing. This way they will be doing what interests them. They aren’t likely to choose an art museum or theater, but whatever they decide will balance out the cultural activities you have chosen.
2. Manage expectations. If you tell your kids that a car ride is going to take four hours and it takes four and a half hours, they will be angry because you are late. If you tell them it is going to take six hours and it takes four and a half, they will be stoked that you are early. High expectations beget disappointments; even if you are going to a great spot, don’t make the mistake of talking it up too much. Talk about what is going to happen at the event. Walk through the drive; where you will be stopping and how long it is will be between those stops. This is so they have a sense of time and purpose to the day.
3. Make a spontaneous rule that can break up the road trip at any moment. We vowed we would stop at every go-kart track. This is a great way to break up a boring drive. It doesn’t have to be go-karts – it can be a driving range, batting cages or whatever your family enjoys – but it helps to have something for the kids to look for that results in a spontaneous stop. Be sure you collaborate on the "rule" to make it fun for everyone!
4. Develop a tradition around food. For us this was a pizza contest. One of our goals during our year of travel was to find the world’s greatest pizza. At each stop we asked the locals where to find “the best pizza in town.”
5. Use “dollar snacks” to save money and limit empty calories. We treated our kids to one snack per day, as long as it cost under a dollar and has less than 300 calories. If someone didn’t want a snack, we would give them the dollar to save or spend on a non-food item.
6. Turn museums into treasure hunts. Whenever we visited a museum, we started in the gift shop, where each of us bought a postcard of a famous exhibit. We would read about the exhibit in one of the books and then searched for it. Once we found the exhibit, whoever had the postcard would give a brief presentation. No two objects could be in the same section of the museum, which guaranteed that we would walk by a lot of different stuff. The postcard could then be cut into a puzzle for a game in the car or hotel.
7. Use electronics to your advantage. Automobile DVD players and other portable electronics can be a godsend on a long road trip. But some technology can be destructive to family time. (i.e. a teen texting her BFF instead of looking at the Statue of Liberty or a father who turns on the t.v. and plops on the bed as soon as he checks into the hotel). Not having these distractions forces your family to interact more, and isn’t that the point of travel? Make sure that the rules for electronic use are agreed upon BEFORE you leave for your trip.
8. Read your kid’s body language. Throughout our year of travel we were constantly tinkering with the pace of our trip. If our children were bored, we did activities to tire them out. If they were tired, we slowed down to let them rest. There is no requirement that says you have to see every single monument in Washington D.C. for the trip to be a success. It is okay to leave some famous sights for the next time!!
9. Don’t be afraid to split up for a couple days. Many times during our trip the boys went one ways and the girls another. This allows family members with different interests to do what they want.
10. Don’t leave home without a tour book. Throughout our travels we bought dozens of tour books and they have all paid for themselves many times over in saving money and avoiding hassles. The Internet is no substitute for a book that you can carry in the car and pass around to members of the family to discuss restaurants and accommodations.

*Four years ago, David Boesch, his wife Jill, and their three children packed up their minivan and set off on a one-year trip around the world that would take them to 17 countries on six continents. As time went by, their family dynamics improved dramatically. The kids became experienced travelers who tolerated long trips without complaining and David and Jill learned a few parenting tricks that helped foster family harmony.

Question of the Week

“My kids leave their stuff ALL OVER the house!! How do I get them to clean up after themselves?”

1. Set the foundation before expectation! Teach when things are going good. Begin with collaboration or sharing the control by giving LOTS of choices. Once the child has successfully mastered the task, correction can be implemented as needed.
For example: “Today we are going to play ‘pick up’. Let’s practice for 10 minutes and then have a treat! Would you rather start in your room or in the play room? Do you want to do the balls or trucks first? Should they go in bins or lined up neatly? Which makes it easier for you to put away? Ok! Now let’s mess it up and practice putting it away again! Who can guess how fast we can get it done? 5 min or 7 min? Do you want to put some music on?

(With older kids who have already been taught, you may just skip this step).

2. As a parent, I must model what I want to see in my child. I won’t be tempted to remind or nag and can teach them in the present time. I may ask myself – “Am I putting my things away in a timely manner without whining”, OR do I say something like,“Hey guys… come and help me with this stuff… do you think I like cleaning up by myself?”

For example: If I want to model cleaning up and putting things away as we go, I may talk about it out loud: “’I’m just going to wash these pans up now so it won’t be a big problem later.” OR “I’m putting my shoes away so I don’t forget where they are tomorrow when I need them.”

3. If you see their stuff on the floor or elsewhere, do the following

- Remain calm, smile, and then give them the responsibility to take care of the problem.

Here’s an example:
Parent: “Do you want to take your shoes upstairs now or in 2 minutes?”
Child: “2 minutes”
Parent: “Great!”

Note: there is no choice given about taking them upstairs, just when it will happen.
If the shoes are still there after the 2 minutes, say something like this –
Parent: “I see your shoes are still here… Oh buddy… what did I ask you to do?”
Child: “But… mom….”
Parent: “What did I ask you to do?” (Go into ‘broken record’ mode here)
If the child refuses, say: “So are you saying you won’t take them up like you said you would? Bummer or how sad (empathetic one-liner)…” Then the parent takes the shoes and puts them in their collection/buy-back box. (I collect stuff and they can buy it back).

When they realize they need them, with a smile I can calmly say: “Oh…. I’m happy to let you have those back when you can pay me for the trouble I had to go to through to pick them up. And you can do that by ________ (doing an extra chore, or paying $$). Let me know which works for you.” (Remember, no sarcasm allowed!)

GIVEAWAY WINNERS

Our three WINNERS are...

JD and Hillary Darner said...
I Like (love) KeriMaughan.com on FB


Mandy said...
I subscribe to your blog. The pictures at bedtime have helped our 3 year old so much!


whipsters said...
im so happy to follow kerimaughan.com


*Please contact us at 602.295.9611 or natalie@kerimaughan.com to confirm that you know you have won*

Thank you to everyone for participating in our Giveaway!!

Spring Giveaway! - CLOSED

You've told your friends and family about us and shared your experiences. So......we are EXCITED to announce several new locations around the valley for classes added to our spring calendar!!

THANK YOU for helping us expand and grow! To show our appreciation, we would like to do a....

GIVEAWAY!

We will be choosing 3 winners!

The prize: You and a partner can attend one class of your choice during 2011, for FREE

**To view the classes we have scheduled, go to www.kerimaughan.com/classes-and-seminars

A few rules:

The prize can be transferred to someone else.

The winner has until December 31, 2011 to attend a class.

There are many ways to enter, here’s how:

(YOU MUST BACK HERE AND LEAVE A SEPARATE COMMENT FOR EACH ENTRY - you can enter as many times as you want)

1. Email your favorite parenting story (success or failure) to natalie@kerimaughan.com

2. Update your status on Facebook about the giveaway with a link to this blog

3. Like "KeriMaughan.com" on Facebook

4. Follow my blog
5. Subscribe to my blog
6. Follow us on Twitter @kerimaughan
7. Tweet about this giveaway on Twitter
8. Post this giveaway on your blog with a link to this blog

(If you already follow the blog, subscribe to the blog, or like us on Facebook, leave a comment letting us know.... it still counts as an entry.)

*You can update your status, tweet and post about this as many times as you'd like to. Just make sure to come back and leave a comment each time so it counts as an entry*

THE CONTEST ENDS ON WED. MARCH 9TH AT 11:59PM

The winners will be announced on Thursday March 10th

(the winners will be chosen using a random number generator based on the number of comments)

Question/Answer

Question of the Week

I have a 7 year old who is constantly debating and arguing…everything! How can I respond in a kind way (I’m tired of arguing) that will stop it from continuing? Even if I tell him I don’t want to discuss it or argue about it or debate about it, etc, he then debates or argues that point and pulls me back in. Help!


Use your favorite one liner, for example: “I know”; “ooohhhh”; “What did I say?”; “Nice try”; “I’m happy to talk with you when you’re voice is calm like mine” or “I love you too much to argue”.

Say one of those one liners with as much empathy as you can. If he continues to want to debate after you’ve said your one liner two times (and nothing else), then feel free to remove yourself from the situation. Walk away, put yourself in your room (lock the door if necessary), go sit in the car…. wherever you can find some peace and quiet.

For Example:
Child: “I want to go play now!”
Parent: “I’m happy to have you do that as soon as you finish your chores.”
Child: “But mom, he can only play for an hour. Why can’t I go now?”
Parent: “Oohhhhh……. What did I say?”
Child: “You’re sooo mean!!”
Parent: “Oohhhh…." (or a different one liner)
Child: “Come on mom!!!”
Parent walks away (saying nothing else: no “last-word-itis”)

*Remember- The most important thing is to have your heart right! It’s how you say it – not what you say. It needs to be genuine and authentic. And no sarcasm!

That will help you keep your cool and not get pulled into the argument. Later, when he (and definitely you) have calmed down, you can ask him: “Hey buddy, I noticed that you wanted to talk with me earlier, is now a good time?” You can stay in the conversation as long as it doesn’t turn into an argument. If he starts to argue again, start over with the one liners.

Have fun! If you have a question you would like answered, please email them to us at Natalie@kerimaughan.com

Question/Answer

Question of the Week

What can I do to make bedtime smooth,

loving and stress free with my 3 year old?

Choices… lots of choices!!
If verbal choices don’t seem to be doing the trick, try visual ones. For example: take a picture of your child doing each night time activity, like brushing their teeth, reading a book, sleeping, picture of a clock with the starting time, etc. Take the pictures and put them on cards. Then each night, have them choose the order of their routine (always beginning with the picture of the clock and ending with the sleeping card – they choose the order of the cards in between). Allowing them to choose the order often squelches any tantrums.

If they still decide to throw a fit, you can lovingly say: “Ohhhh…. Looks like we’re allll done.” Gently scoop them up and take them to their room. Give them a hug and a kiss; while still giving the child choices like: “Did you want the light on or off? The door open or closed? One book or two books? I leave the door open for kids who stay in their bed….etc.” Whatever choices you normally offer them when you’re leaving their room.

Remember, there’s always tomorrow to try again! Ending the bedtime routine in this way should only need to happen for a few nights – the child generally gets the idea that they are welcome to be with you and get to do the routine with choices when they can be sweet.

Really important: Have a practice session during the daytime! Have lots of fun and role play how the bedtime routine might go…. Then finish it off with a treat! Here’s how you can say it: “Hey buddy, let’s do something really silly…. Let’s pretend its bedtime & see who can do it the fastest. Then we’ll eat ice cream when we’re done. Ready? Okay, it’s time for bed. Let’s get our cards out….. etc.”

Make sure you continue to give lots of choices that night (and every night) after the practice session. If this doesn’t resolve after a few days, there may be something else going on. If this is your concern, please give us a call at 602.295.9611 and we would be happy discuss it.

Have fun parenting! We would love to hear your stories! If you have a question you would like me to answer, please email it to natalie@kerimaughan.com

*Interested in parenting classes to get more help? go to http://www.kerimaughan.com/*

Question/Answer

QUESTION OF THE WEEK

Here's a question I recently got asked:

What do I do when I can’t get my 10 month old to eat and they

just want to throw their spoon?

ANSWER:

Empathy comes first!

Here's a few things to think about:
What might be going on?
Is he just trying to play a game? Maybe. Is she frustrated? Maybe.
What else? What might it be like to be this child in this situation?
How long have they been sitting in this chair?

What else might have been going on that day? Is it possible that the child doesn’t know how to communicate what he really wants to this person?

Is she tired? Or he's hungry, but wants something different eat? Or maybe I'm the problem (not giving him my full attention).

These questions should help get your heart in the right place!

Now, as a parent – how do I lovingly set limits so that my child comes to understand that even if this (food, spoon, situation, etc.) isn’t what they want, they need to learn to communicate in a respectful and kind way?

Perhaps, they could just be telling me they are done with that food. As I'm removing the carrots, I might say, in a really loving way, “Are you done with carrots?" Then do the teaching: "Oohh, say ‘All done’” and present them with something different. “Did you want peaches or peas?” Give them a choice before they get too upset. Generally, if they throw their spoon again, with as much compassion as I can, I say, “Ooohhh, looks like you’re alllll done.” With lots of love and care, I scoop them up. set them down and send them on their way.


I thought I'd be fun to do a Question of the Week. So if you have a question, you can either leave a comment with the question or email natalie@kerimaughan.com and I'll answer one a week.

WINNER

The WINNER of the Love and Logic class is.....

~aileen~jaron~ said...
Sent you an email. Have heard a little bit about love and logic, would love to learn more...

Thank you to everyone for participating in the Giveaway!!